Milestones

After all the changes, and the meeting, and changing my work times, things have been sailing along much more smoothly at Connor’s after school program.  He has a new counselor that worked with him at their summer camp, and she is really great with him.  The past two weeks have been rather pleasant (I’m almost sorry I just put that in writing).

On Friday when I picked up Connor, his counselor asked me if I would always be picking him up that early.  She said she’d like him to stay later, since he’s been doing so well.  She’d like to see how he does when he’s there for more than an hour.  WHAT??!!  That is a first!  Never in his five years has someone asked for him to stay longer.  I was just so flabbergasted, I didn’t know what to say.  Then I remembered that they have an early release day coming up this week, and a teacher day off in October.

I reminded her of those, and we decided to see how things go on those days.  Let’s not get all crazy and start thinking he can just hang out for hours on end, being good, for heaven’s sake!

Things have also gone well in his kindergarten class, with only two days of naughty reports.  Two days out of four weeks is not too shabby.  I’ll take it!

I can honestly say, my heart swells with pride.  Maybe he is finally maturing and understanding how to conduct himself.  He even went to his counselor to ask for help with a conflict, rather than hitting or pushing.  He got a trip to the treasure box for that.

Here’s crossing my fingers and hoping things continue this way.  All our hard work is paying off, painfully slowly, but still getting there.

Vaccine Court Award

CBS News has run a story about the first vaccine-autism court award.  In reading it, what struck me was that their child received 9 immunizations in one visit, at 18-months old.

I’ve never been one that was completely against vaccinations, but have always remained objective.  I see both the necessity and benefit of vaccinating against diseases, and the blatant disregard for the health and well-being of people by the drug companies and government health agencies.

We have known for a very long time that mercury is a neurotoxin.  Yet our government allowed the big pharmaceutical companies to use a mercury-based preservative, thimerosal, in our children’s vaccinations until recent years. 

A simple search for “mercury neurodegeneration” will bring up links to youtube, where you can view video clips put out by the University of Calgary, showing the effects of mercury on the brain.  It leaves you wondering why our own government would allow the use of one of the most toxic elements on the planet to be injected into the bodies of babies.

I am certainly not asserting that mercury causes autism.  This will be something for the scientists to figure out.  What I am saying is that we are exposed to so many more toxins and chemicals than we were 50 years ago.  Coincidentally, the rates of autism have exploded in the last 20 years.  While a direct correlation may not be possible at this point, at the very least can we not say that injecting human beings with toxins is not the conscionable route to take?

As a parent, from the time my son was born I always brought written requests to doctor’s appointments, requesting no vaccines containing thimerosal.  Looking back, perhaps I would have made different choices about him getting vaccinated at all.  He did not, however, receive a swine flu vaccination this past year, and will likely not receive a flu shot this year.

And for those parents out there that believe the non-vaccinating parents are the harbingers of evil, do your research and due diligence before you form an opinion.  Take off your blinders and look into your government’s safety standards, and ask yourself if they really, really care about you and your family.

Here is the CBS article I mentioned:  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31727_162-20015982-10391695.html

Here is a report by Generation Rescue about autism and vaccines around the world:  http://www.rescuepost.com/files/gr-autism_and_vaccines_world_special_report1.pdf

At the very least, can we not ask our government to mandate that vaccinations be free of toxins, and that they are spread out over a longer period of time?  Can we not allow our babies bodies time to grow and develop, before bombarding their systems with contaminants and diseased cells?

I can only hope that the settlement by the government that acknowledges that vaccines “resulted” in the child’s autism is the beginning of much greater attention to this issue, and a change in the way the business of medicine is conducted.

Cracker Barrel Memories

Tchotchke Hell

As Connor gets older and the challenges change over time, it becomes easier to look back on things that were upsetting, and find the humor in them.  Not all things, of course, but there are a few.  I was recently remembering our road trip to Texas.  Just before Connor turned two, we relocated from Atlanta to Austin.  With a child and a dog, it took us 2 ½ days of driving, with frequent stops, to complete the trip.

 

Sometime on day two, we stopped at a Cracker Barrel for lunch.  I can’t even remember where it was…Tennessee, Arkansas, who knows.  We somehow got through lunch with a hyper toddler, and made the usual restroom stop before leaving.  It was my turn, and I hated it when it was my turn.  That means I had to pull a Houdini, and manage to let myself go to the bathroom, keep hold of my child, then get him changed.  Parents of typical children have no idea what a monumental feat it is to use a restroom with an ADHD toddler.  It’s sort of like holding onto a tornado with one hand, while using your other hand to disrobe and complete the task, in a tiny little metal box.

No sooner do I sit down, with one hand holding onto Connor in the large “handicapped” stall, than he abruptly, and strongly pulls out of my grasp.  It was like slow motion in a horror movie, where I flail my arms out, shouting “NOOOOOO”, as he unlatches the door and bolts out.  The kid was like greased lightning.  I still can’t reconcile in my brain how any human being can move so fast, but he did, and out he went. 

The flood of thoughts that can go through someone’s brain in a 2-second span is truly impressive.  If you’ve ever been to a Cracker Barrel, then you know that their entire lobby area is set up like a country store, full of doo-dads and what-nots, all kinds of kitschy tchotchkes made of ceramic and glass.  I could just imagine the crashing of things, the yelling of people, the disapproving looks, the snide comments, the huge bill of poultry-inspired crap they would want me to pay for.  “If he gets through that bathroom door, it’s over, and it will be bad, so very bad.” 

Let me tell you, Big ‘Ol Mama Bear jumped up, yanked up the pants, and leaped out to the door faster than you could blink.  The entire time, I’m calling out “Connor, no, come back here now, Connor, CONNOR!”

I grabbed hold of him just as he was reaching for the exit door.  It was a very close call, but the tchotchkes were saved that day.  As we turned around to go to the sink, an older lady came out of another stall, stopped and looked down with a smile, and said “Well you must be Connor.”

It was a very long road trip.

Creating Success

Last week I took time off work for the meeting with the after school staff to discuss behavior supports.  Connor has been attending a social skills playgroup weekly, and his group behaviorist agreed to attend the meeting to pass on her wealth of knowledge on behavior supports.

The meeting went fairly well, and we discussed a number of ways to help Connor succeed in the after school setting:

1. Using first/then language; first you must wash your hands, then you can have snack.
2. Giving him a picture schedule to remind him of each different activity (snack, restroom, gym time, outdoor time).  He can earn a “ticket” for each session where he has good behavior.  He can turn in his tickets for a prize from the treasure box (provided by me) at the end of his day.
3. Giving him a job, such as line leader.  Being in charge gives him a boost.
4. Making sure his staff person spends a few minutes pairing (bonding) with him.  He needs to know he has a connection with you.
5. Using language to help Connor understand how his behavior affects others; “When you don’t listen and you walk away from me, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel really bad.”
6. His special ed teacher will help each day with the transition from class to after school time.
7. I will be changing my hours at work to 7:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.  By the time I pick up, he will only have been there an hour, and less time equals less behavior.  Daddy will have to take him to school each morning.

 

The autism coordinator for the Pflugerville school district is also involved, and has been helpful.  So far, it has been an encouraging school year, and I hope that things continue on this track.  They seem to be hearing me when I say that failure is not an option.  And it’s not.  If my son fails, that means that we all, collectively, failed him.  With parent/school/teacher/behaviorist support, there is no acceptable reason for Connor to not succeed.  Excuses will not be tolerated. 

Last week went a bit better.  This will be the first week with me on the new schedule, which I absolutely despise, but will do it because it’s for my son.  Now we need to start thinking about what to do during the two-week winter break, and other various school “off” days.  I’ve had to take so much time for his various appointments, and suspension days from summer camp, that I don’t have many days left to take off.  I’m hoping the autism coordinator can help us come up with some solutions.

And despite my reluctance, I attended the first PTO (formerly PTA) meeting, and volunteered for three activities.  I figure I better start networking my butt off, and making nice with other parents.  This is where resources come from, and we sure do need some resources.

It’s going to be a busy, busy year.

Just Breathe…

Connor and his big stick.

 

The first week of school took more of a toll on all of us than I would have guessed.  With Connor attending pre-K and childcare in the past, I guess I wasn’t expecting this to be a difficult transition.  I don’t know what I was thinking…my child has ADHD and Asperger’s, and almost all transitions are challenging.  This past weekend gave us some good downtime, and I decided to find a fun activity for all of us. 

No, Texas is not my favorite place in the whole world, but Austin does have some pretty areas, and a plethora of creeks and lakes.  Since Connor has never been to the ocean, or a natural body of water, I thought some creek exploration was just the thing.  A few minutes on google, and we were soon on our way to Bull Creek. 

During the drive, we discussed logistics:  what is a creek, how deep is a creek, how far away is the creek, are there sharks in the creek, etc, etc.  As we wound around the road, Connor grew more and more excited, asking “Are we to the creek now?” 

I could not have ordered up a more relaxing and fun adventure for our little family.  We parked the car and got out, and I explained that we had to hold hands near the cars and road, but I would let go once we got over to the creek.  He followed my directions beautifully. 

The three of us waded around, watched small fish scurry by, and enjoyed the scenery.  My boy found rocks to throw in the water, and a huge walking stick.  We explored and looked and laughed.  We even hiked up a small trail for a while and back down.  There were no behavior problems, issues, challenges, nada. 

This was my boy.  My sweet boy that loves to roam around and toss rocks and make noise and ask a million questions about all that he sees.  Maybe someday he will be a park ranger or a trail guide.  My boy just doesn’t do as well with being inside the box of a classroom, with rules and assignments, and competing voices and hands.  He’s like a fish out of water. 

I feel recharged after this family time.  We all piled into the car with our wet shoes and feet and headed home for dinner.  We even brought the big walking stick, so Connor could keep it.  My fear and dread has receded a little, and I think we’re all going to make it.