Parental Lunacy

Before my husband and child, back when it was just me, things were a lot different.  I used to have stylish clothes, and listened to current music.  Conversations with friends were different too.  I might call someone up to let them know of the announcement of the Lollapalooza line up, or we might discuss the newest New York Times bestseller, or that there was a new Betsy Johnson store opening in the mall.  These days, I rarely get to read a current book, and I certainly can’t keep up with new music artists.  The worst part about this process of change, is that I utter things that I never, ever would have thought I would have any reason to say out loud.

The things I say center mostly around my five-year-old. 

“We do NOT spit on our friend’s heads in the lunchroom”, I say after he has gotten into trouble for initiating a spitting game.

“We have to keep ALL our body parts to ourselves, our hands AND our lips.”  This was after  a call from the teacher, informing me that Connor was bursting with love and kissing his friends (on the arm, or back, or wherever was convenient).

“I know you love the dog, but that doesn’t mean we open our mouth and let the dog lick our tongue.”  We’re still working on this one.

“Did you just lick that play doh?  Why in the name of all that is holy would you lick play doh when you just had a snack?”  Notice that I have decompensated to the point that I put play doh on the same level as an actual, edible snack?

“If you keep screaming my head is actually going to explode right off my shoulders, and you will have to clean up all the pieces.  Is that what you want.”  No, he does not want to clean it up, but did want the candy as bribery to stop screaming.

I wonder if I will ever get the brain cells back that I’ve lost, or if this lunacy will be a permanent state.  I hope to someday regain the faculties to at least have adult conversations that don’t involve body parts or fluids.  But maybe I should aim lower and just hope to read a book for fun again someday soon.

Boy Scouts Belong to Other Families

Good deeds done here!

Twice in the last week I’ve been asked about the Boy Scouts of America.  People want to know if I will be signing my son up in the next year or two, to spend time with other boys, camping, fishing, doing good deeds, and enjoying the camaraderie of boyhood.  And they are surprised when my answer is not just no, but hell no.

Surprisingly, many people are not aware that the Boy Scouts have historically discriminated against atheists and gays. I could cite a slew of references here, but it would go on for pages.  A simple google search for “boy scouts discriminate” will give you over 825,000 results, many are as recent as the last few weeks.  There have been many incidents of atheists not being allowed to enroll, or being dismissed from the Scouts, and the same goes for homosexuals. It’s not just reserved for the scouts themselves, but also the troop leaders.  Gay troop leaders have been dismissed as well (a gay father was dismissed in October, right here in Texas).

My husband and I spend a lot of time advocating for our son.  As recently as today, we still battle the YMCA to work harder to be inclusive of children with disabilities.  We fully support inclusion in school classrooms, to the extent possible.  So here is our quandary:  how could we possibly fight for inclusion for our son, while enrolling him in a group that is not inclusive?

We can’t, and we won’t.  One friend even suggested to me that we lie about being atheists.  Now that’s just funny.  Why would I lie so our son can infiltrate a group that doesn’t want our kind, or other kinds, to join in the first place?  Sounds ludicrous, doesn’t it?  My friend couldn’t understand how I could deny my son the option to join the group, if he was interested.  Regardless of our belief, or non-belief, why would I want to allow my son to join a group that excludes others?  A group that is meant to support and represent the community, denies valued members of their community based on their divisive criteria.  For me, it’s a no-brainer. Even if I was, gasp, religious, I would still reject them.

So take that, Boy Scouts, I reject YOU!

We will never stop advocating for our son, and for integration and inclusion in general.  And if the subject of the Boy Scouts ever arises,  we will calmly explain it to my son.  I’m pretty sure he won’t be interested in joining a group that would not allow his daddy to be a troop leader.