All it took was one after-school playdate to jack-up the smooth seas we’ve been sailing on. Romeo went to my good friend’s house after-school, to visit his Juliet (who is three years older than him). There was running, playing, laughter, snack consumption, and Scooby-Doo watching. Magic, pure magic.
Oh, but then I arrived.
“Mommy, I didn’t want you to come until Scooby Doo was over” (said with sad, whiny voice).
“Don’t worry, I’m just going to chill right here and chat until it’s over.” Yeah, but don’t thank me or anything for being so nice to allow you extra time to finish your show. No, anything but that.
So then 15 minutes to get shoes on, ten minutes out the door. Oh, but then he realizes he’s forgotten his Ironman figure in the house. Juliet says she will get it (because she’s a little helper monkey like that), and I tell Romeo to wait right here, no need to go back in the house (NOOOOO, not back in the house, where it will take me another 10 minutes to extract you). But what does he do, totally blows me off and runs where? I don’t think I even need to say it.
So I finally extract him, and tell him to put Ironman in my hand, because he has not followed the directions.
“Fine, but you’re MEAN!” Whatever, I’m so okay with that.
So all the way home, which, by the way, is only five minutes away, all I hear is “when can I have my Ironman back?”
“When I decide you’ve earned it back, and when you stop asking me about it.”
Back at home, finish homework, into the bath. I’m in the kitchen trying to cook dinner, and I hear SCREAMING from the bathroom.
“MOMMY, WHEN CAN I HAVE MY IRONMAN BACK??!!”
“Stop asking me, I told you I would give it back when you are behaving and when you stop bugging me about it.”
“You’re mean, mommy.” Uh huh, I know.
Dinner time. Little man does not appreciate the beef stir fry I made. I inform him that this is dinner, and he can either choose to eat, or be hungry. “Be hungry! You’re mean, mommy.”
Five minutes pass, and he comes over, stands next to me and hugs me, and says “I just want to say that I didn’t ask for my Ironman back, so can I have it now?”
It took every ounce of willpower and fortitude to not jam Ironman into the garbage disposal and flip the switch.
But I didn’t. I might be “mean,” but I’ve dodged being evil, at least for today.