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Ways In Which I Either Failed or Excelled at Being a Mother Over the Summer, Depending Upon Whom You Ask

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Sometimes I’m pretty certain that I’m not up to snuff with this parenting thing, yet I lack the intestinal fortitude to actually do something about it. Hence, weeks stretch into months, and then we’re almost ready to start a new school year. By that time I figure it’s too late to turn this ship of fools around, so I let it just continue on its present course.

 

There’s always next summer, right?

 

If you’ve been a little, um, lackadaisical with your summer routine, then this should perk you right up and make you feel like you’re on top of your game. Because, man, I don’t even have any game this summer.

 

  1. I did not make Connor do one single worksheet this entire summer. Not even one little math problem. I should probably feel bad about that, yet I don’t. I figure that the 6 weeks he spent at ESY covers us for doing schoolwork during the summer.
    .
  2. The 8:00 p.m. bedtime routine went straight out the window. He went to bed at 8:30, instead. Or 9:00. 9:30 at the VERY latest. Except that one night we were out late bowling and it was, like, 10:00 p.m.
    .
  3. Between the two of us, we have acquired enough coal to light up the entire Minecraft universe with torches from one end to the other…probably more than once. And still I grab more coal whenever I see it. I don’t need more coal, but it’s like I can’t stop myself from compulsive coal-hoarding.
    .
    TORCHES
    .
  4. It’s possible that I let him sleep in his roller skates. A couple of times.
    .
  5. One day at camp a kid pushed Connor and took the ball from him. Connor waited until he had possession of the ball again, and then promptly chucked it at the kid’s head. Even though I made him write a letter of apology, I secretly felt more than a little proud of him.
    .
    ball to head
  6. I wrote down Lexi Magnusson’s cell phone number and encouraged him to crank call her.
    .
  7. The only people that call our home phone are solicitors. I always let Connor answer the phone because his first question is always “what are you selling?”
    .
  8. Tried to get him to listen to Guns ‘N Roses but he didn’t like it. I promptly tried to sell him on Facebook because, obviously, he can’t really be related to me.
    .
  9. Somehow my husband accidentally let him hear the song Wiggle by Jason Derulo. Now he randomly starts singing, “You know what to do with that big, fat butt!” at inopportune times. And I let him, because it makes me laugh.
    .
    wiggle
  10. Many, many days were spent in swim clothes, from morning to evening. The upside is that it sure cuts down on laundry. The downside? There is no downside, as far as I can tell. Neon orange and green swim trunks with a huge shark face, jaws wide open, is completely acceptable apparel for the grocery store, restaurants, bowling alleys, and anywhere else our summer adventures took us.

 

After writing this is occurs to me that I’d better get my crap together pretty quickly. T minus 3 weeks until school starts, and I’m pretty sure they’re going to expect some kind of parenting on my part.

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About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

3 responses »

  1. Sounds like you totally excelled as a Mom.

    Reply
  2. you didn’t fail at all as you have an autistic child. thats like comparing apples to oranges. autistic children are different as you certainly know by now so don’t beat yourself up if your not doing what other mums are. You don’t need to. As long as your child is happy that is all that matters. square pegs don’t belong in round holes no matter how much we try to make them conform.

    Reply
  3. I am not sure how any part of your summer was a failure. Sounds like it was a resounding success.

    Ok, expect maybe the Guns N Roses part.

    You collect coal, I collect and make arrows. Lots of arrows. Can’t have too many arrows.

    Reply

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