Safety and Special Needs, A Series

Back when Connor was not yet one-year-old, and still crawling, we lived in a house with a fireplace in the living room.  At some point each day, he busied himself with crawling to the fireplace, in an attempt to get into that big hole and play around.

There were several well-read parenting books on my shelf, so I knew that my job was to move him and distract him with his toys.  This didn’t seem to be working, but I dug in my heels and decided I would stick with this plan.  Connor, of course, had not read the parenting books, and as soon as I plopped him down with his toys, he abruptly turned and crawled right back to the fireplace.  I stuck with it, mentally counting each time I moved him away, and when I got to 100, I knew something wasn’t right.  I hadn’t been around that many babies, but I knew that it usually wasn’t that hard to interest them in an alternate object.

Since my main goal was his safety, I got online to look for gates.  Most seemed to be in the $100 range, which was just not in the budget, so we had to be creative.

I found a large cardboard box in the garage, and cut out one side in the shape of the fireplace.  Then I duct-taped the flat cardboard to the front of the fireplace.  Hubs laughed at me, asking “do you really think that’s going to stop him?”

But it did.  As soon as the opening of the fireplace was covered up, it was like it no longer existed.  Connor crawled that way once, looked at it, and turned around and went back to his toys.  He never bothered with the fireplace again, as though it had disappeared.

Now I realize that compared to some, we don’t have it so tough.  There are many parents that have to go to extreme measures to ensure their kids’ safety, often in creative and innovative ways. And there are too many horrible stories out there about kids that have wandered and gone missing.

When I was looking for someone to guest post for me, I had several kind offers.  They wanted to know what topic I’d like, and my mind kept coming back to safety.  And instead of just having a single guest post, I thought this might be a great topic to run as a series.

Every Monday I’ll host a guest post from someone with their story of safety issues for their kids, and what has worked for them.  There are so many great ideas out there, and I know this will be helpful to others.

There aren’t too many rules, just a few:

1.  Contact me, via email (nuttydingo@gmail.com) or Facebook, letting me know you’d like to submit a post on safety.  I’ll run them on consecutive Mondays, in the order they’re received.

2.  Submit your finished post, along with any pics or links to be included, to me at least 48 hours ahead of time.

3.  I will not edit your post.  If I spot a spelling error, I may correct it, but that’s it.  The usual disclaimer applies:  if there is any material that is offensive, abusive, or defamatory, I reserve the right to withhold posting the piece.

4.  As is customary, post a link on your blog on your Monday, linking back to The Connor Chronicles.

I made this handy-dandy picture, meme-y thing that you can use if you want.

(When I added text it blurs just a tiny bit when I save it.  Why?  Why does it do this?  This is the crap that makes me crazy in life, this stuff right here.  If you know how to do this so the text doesn’t blur, tell me and I’ll send you the pic.  Otherwise, this one isn’t too bad.)

Did You Know You Could Write a Rant and Make it Segue Into Special Needs Ryan? Me Neither.

Hi everyone, I’m back.

Oh.

You thought maybe I was on vacation, seeing as how school is out and it’s officially summertime.  That’s what people do, you know.  They pack up the kids and they take a fabulous, fun-filled vacation that they’ve been saving for, hoping for, waiting for all year.

No.  I didn’t go anywhere.  I’ve been here all along.  Here, but not really here, you know?

The school year came to an end with a first-grade awards ceremony, and then summer started, and it was like being buried alive.  For a few uncertain moments, I heard myself breathing in and out, but it was loud, so LOUD, and I could hear my heart beating in my ears as the panic started setting in, adrenaline coursing through my veins and the feeling that my heart would beat so hard it would come right through my chest cavity.

At the awards ceremony, all the kids had multiple ribbons of different colors pinned to their shirts.  As the principal read each category, from spelling to reading to perfect attendance, if they had the ribbon of the corresponding color, they would stand up.

But Connor, he had only one ribbon.  Just one, for “making strides.”  I know that you know what that category means, so I won’t say it.  I won’t say it, not here, not ever.

See, the thing is, that even though Connor was proud of his one ribbon, I hurt badly.  I hurt for him.  I let this one event create foreshadowing in my mind, and created a hurt for all the years to come when my son works so hard, harder than we thought he could, and still barely squeaks through.

Of course he is enough.  He is absolutely enough for me.  But how do I take that precious self-esteem, wrap it in a bubble, and protect it from all the realities that are coming his way?  How do I preserve that when, even now, he says he is stupid, so stupid, for “always making bad choices?”

I can’t think about that anymore.  I can’t cry anymore, I can’t worry anymore, I can’t think about wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, over and over until there is nothing but a rasping, scratching voice left.

And then summer camp started on Monday.  And oh, hell, last summer was a horrible, draining experience for all of us.  The fourth summer camp was the one that finally worked, but not until we were emotionally drained and my job was hanging by a thread from all the calls to come and pick up Connor.

This year will be better, I tell myself.  He’s taking a different medication now, and he’s older, and it will be better.

It will be better.

Summer.  And it’s already 97 degrees, and my Scotch-Irish genes are freaking out, turning me into a freckled, sweaty, mosquito-bite-ridden irritable mess.

And there is no vacation.  That ship sailed away with our money, straight to the summer camp administration office.  And that’s okay because, frankly, I’m not much in the mood to go anywhere right now.

Luckily, I have Special Needs Ryan Gosling to look forward to every week, thanks to Sunday at Adventures in Extreme Parenthood.  Somehow I know he will help see me through the summer, and get me back into the safety of the school year.

Oh Ryan, you get me. You really, really get me.

Until next week…

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Special Needs Ryan Gosling Friday

Is it just me, or has this been a long week?  Maybe it’s because the school year is ending and summer is starting, but it just seems like there’s angst in the air.

Luckily I have Special Needs Ryan Gosling to look forward to on Fridays, courtesy of Sunday, from Adventures in Extreme Parenthood.

So put aside your contempt for Jenny McCarthy, and her wacky autism antics, and skip reading those articles that imply that autism is caused by pregnancy weight gain, or breathing, or eating bacon, and enjoy Special Needs Ryan.  Be sure to visit the other SNRG contributors listed on Sunday’s site.

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Special Needs Ryan Gosling Friday

Hey girl (or guy), it’s Friday, which means it’s time to link up with Sunday over at Adventures in Extreme Parenthood for Special Needs Ryan Gosling!

The great thing about this is that I don’t have to think too hard about writing a post, especially since it’s been a long week and the boy hasn’t been sleeping well (which means that we’re not sleeping well either).

Be sure to click on over and see what other great RyGos photo captions are out there!

Without further ado, here’s Ryan…

Ryan is so unbelievably thoughtful!!

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Special Needs Ryan is Alive With the Sound of Music

Oh yes, Special Needs Ryan Gosling is back.  This time he’s bringing the music.  He is multi-talented like that.

Special Needs Ryan Friday is brought to you by Sunday Stillwell, check her, and the other Special Needs Ryan peeps, out here:

This week I have TWO Ryans.  He’s so good, I had to do him twice (pun intended).

Whatever you say, Ryan, you're the boss.

This is an old In Living Color reference. You remember it, right? Come on...

Have a great weekend!

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Special Needs Ryan Friday

It’s Special Needs Ryan  Friday again, created by Sunday at Adventures in Extreme Parenthood.

It’s hard to believe, but I think Ryan gets hotter every week!  Here’s this week’s photo:

Be sure to click on over to Sunday’s site to check out the other SN Ryan entries.

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Edit:  ALSO??  My buddy Lisa, from Autism Wonderland, asked for guest posts last week, and today she is running an oldie but goodie that I recycled and sent her.  How awesome is she?  Way awesome!  So check her out, and check me out while you’re there, checking her out!

 

Special Needs Ryan Gosling (Can Build a Bridge)

Sweet succotash, it’s Special Needs Ryan Friday again!!  I’m glad we were all able to drag our bloody stumps over the finish line to get here.

If you don’t know about Special Needs Ryan, well you must be living under a rock, my friend.  Click here to learn about it:

And here’s my Ryan (that’s right, I said MY Ryan):

Be sure to check out all the other awesome Ryan photos, and make one for your site!

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Special Needs Ryan – Happy Friday

Linking up again with Adventures in Extreme Parenthood for Special Needs Ryan Gosling.  Check out all the awesome peeps that linked up!

 

 

Here’s this week’s Ryan:

 

A Visit From Special Needs Ryan Gosling

I’m linking up with that genius, Sunday Stilwell, from Adventures in Extreme Parenthood, for Special Needs Ryan Gosling Friday!!!

Each week she selects a different photo of Ryan that we use to attach a phrase that pertains to our world of special needs parenting.  Here is mine for this week:

 

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Be sure to check out all the other Special Needs Ryan Gosling posts over at Sunday’s site!

Another Meme, With a Splash of Lime

Nowhere to go now but down.

I almost just can’t believe it, but I’ve been tagged for a meme. It’s like there’s a magic meme unicorn, running around and farting glitter all over me! Since Lizbeth, at Four Sea Stars, tagged me, I guess she is that glitter-farting unicorn.

Thank you, Lizbeth, for farting this honor on me!  Here are the rules of this most awesome honor:

1. Thank and link back to the person who bestowed the award on you. Alrighty, I think that’s covered (see farting unicorn reference above).
2. Post 10 things about yourself that others may or may not know, or may not care to know.
3. Bestow this great and mighty honor upon 6 others.
4. Go forth and seek out those 6 others to bring them the good news of this award.

Alright then, let’s do this, shall we?

1. I was once pelted in the face with a wad of grass by an angry gorilla, who I’d spent hours observing at the zoo for an anthropology paper in college. He did not appreciate being watched. Connor loves to hear that story, over and over again.

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2. I don’t cry when it’s expected. But I do cry at odd times. I cried when Grace, from That’sRightISaidIt.Dot.Mom sent me a package of Tastykakes after reading my post about snack cakes. Not because I like snack cakes THAT much (but they’re damn good), but because I was just floored that a virtual stranger, that I only know in the blog world, spent the time, effort, and money to make such a kind gesture. I’m working on something to send back to her (it’s almost done, I swear), and I hope she knows how appreciated it was!

Tears of joy when I saw these baked goods of the heavens.

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3. I’ve never seen a single episode of Star Trek. It just never interested me.

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4. When I was in high school, I thought Duran Duran was totally rad. Especially John Taylor, who was totally bitchin’. My favorite song was “Save a Prayer”, because I thought it was really deep (it wasn’t, it was a convoluted mess).

Oh yeah, good stuff. Too bad he looks like a shrunken, hollowed-out husk of his former self now.

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5. My favorite actor is Tom Hanks. I don’t think I have a favorite actress.

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6. I try to intersperse classics into my reading (like having a veggie with dinner), and right now am reading The Prince, by Machiavelli. It is boring the shit out of me, but if I stop reading it, it’s like it beat me.

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7. I was the worst student ever, in the history of people being students, at math. Well, all math beginning at algebra. I was okay with addition. Once letters came into the mix, my brain disconnected. I had to take basic algebra twice, and worked my ass off for a passing D grade the 2nd time. Yes, I was that bad.

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8. That math thing came back to haunt me in college, when I had to take physical geography, and was unable to calculate the adiabatic lapse rate of a parcel of air. First off, how the fuck do you measure a “parcel” of air? It’s AIR! I managed to get out with a C-.

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9. Although I can drive a stick-shift, I would rather roller skate or rely on public transportation than actually have to drive one. It’s a mental block that I can’t get past.

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10. Most of the time I feel like a fraud because I’m not really a writer. I started this blog as a place to vent and share info, but I’m surrounded by awesome writers. Sooner or later they’ll realize I don’t belong here, and escort me out.

And now, the honorees of this fine award will be:

Grace, from That’sRightISaidIt.Dot.Mom – well, duh!!!  Not only does she send snack cakes, but I know she will have lot of interesting things to say about herself.

Karen, from Solodialogue.  She writes such beautiful pieces about her son, so now we can hear more tidbits about her!

Þorgerður, from Sturlungi.  I’ve recently started reading her site and love hearing about her son, but especially about life in Iceland.

Kara, from Karacteristic.  I’m going to keep on tagging until you finally do it.

LaliQuin, from Autism Wonderland.  This sassy momma should have some good tales.

Handflapper, from Handflapping.  Because it will be funny, funny shit people.  Whatever she writes, it is always some damn funny shit.

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Editors note:  Listen people, be sure to grab the correct meme button if you are tagged.  It is the “Kreativ Blogger” button at the top, NOT the farting unicorn.  That’s just how I think of Lizbeth.

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