The Buttheads Make a Video

 

Today hubby and I were asked to be in a video that would be used to solicit possible donors to finance the Autism Project, through the University of Texas.  Like so many other states, the budget is being slashed, due to a deficit, and funding probably won’t be there next year.  Considering Texas is already at the bottom of the list for disabled services, it’s kind of a big deal.

But still, if you want people to fund your program, why would you pick the two of us?  Here’s a still shot of us:

Hey, huh huh huh, give us money!!

 

Me:  “Hey, uh, huh huh, there’s no money for autistic kids.”

Hubs:  “Yeah, no money.”

Me:  “Yeah, and if they don’t get some money, all they have left is  just the county provider teaching social skills to kids with autism with just a counselor and the kid.  Huh, huh, huh, no other kids.”

Hubs:  “Yeah, they’re gonna teach social skills to just one kid.  Huh, huh, huh, huh, no wonder those kids don’t know how to be social.

Me:  “Yeah, they’re dumbasses.  But next year they won’t have any money, so they’ll have to teach those kids with no counselor, so they’ll just use sticks and rocks.”

Hubs:  “Yeah, I love to rock out to Styx.  ROCK ON!!”

Me:  “You’re such a dumbass, cornholio!!”

Let’s hope they have some other parents with more thoughtful, constructive dialogue to raise the money they need.  The Autism Project really is the one bright spot in a system that is shamefully, embarrassingly nonexistent for people with disabilities.  The legislators of Texas have turned their back on the disabled population, especially for the low-income population.

Welcome to Texas.  Hope you’re not disabled, ya’ll.

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Yesterday Drew began working with Connor on his tone of speech.  We are supposed to ignore Connor when he yells or whines, and respond to him when he uses an appropriate voice.  This is much harder than one would think, because I never realized that he whines SO MUCH.

And then I started thinking, “do I whine?”  I decided I would make a conscious effort to speak in a tone that is devoid of emotion hence, no whining, no sarcasm, no ironic observations.  This is killing me, and I find that if I’m not busy pointing out life’s little absurdities, tinged with a soft hue of sarcasm, then I have very little to say.

Now when I speak, I sound like a robot.

I’m dating myself, but I keep thinking back to that robot from the old TV show, Lost in Space.

Instead of the robot voice saying “Danger Will Robinson,” imagine it saying, “Good morning, what would you like for breakfast?”  Or, “Wow, that is an interesting purple velvet pantsuit you have chosen for your attire today” (said to a coworker with an interesting flair for fashion).

It’s just weird.  But since we want Connor to learn what “appropriate” speech sounds like, I guess I should actually model that kind of speech.  If Connor would just learn to be sarcastic and witty, instead of whiney, this would not be a problem.  The sacrifices we make as mothers……

During one of the “trials” yesterday, Connor ended up so mad that he was lying on the floor, crying and yelling, because he was being ignored.  If I have to keep this up much longer, I think I will join him on the floor.

Let's use a grownup voice.

Morons with Grapes

Come on, just try them!

2011 brings us good news that makes me super excited.  We are one of six families that the UT (University of Texas, Austin) Autism Project will be working with.   It’s a great opportunity, and I’m optimistic that we will see some positive results at the end of this six-month endeavor.

One of the grad students will be spending several hours a week in our home, working with Connor using ABA therapy.  While this really impacts our weekly schedule, it is so worth it to make the accommodations for this to happen.  In fact, we’ve already seen positive results.

Drew has been to our home twice to begin working with Connor.  Connor thinks he comes over just to play with him, which is just fine with me.  This past weekend, after playing for a while, Connor came to ask for a snack.

“It’s almost dinnertime, if you want a snack, you can have either applesauce or yogurt,” I tell him.

“How about cottage cheese?”

“No, applesauce or yogurt.”

“Ok, yogurt.  Do you want some yogurt too, Drew?  Wait, we have grapes.”  I was surprised he even thought to offer his “friend” a snack, let alone mention the grapes, since he has always refused to eat them.

Drew said he’d prefer grapes, so Connor brought a yogurt for himself, and the bowl of grapes.  Drew started throwing grapes in the air, and catching them in his mouth.

“Ohhhh, that’s cool,” says Connor.  “I want to try that.”  So Connor starts throwing grapes up, and trying to catch them.  It didn’t go well, but in the process he managed to gobble down about twenty grapes.

I buy grapes all the time.

I eat grapes a lot, too.  But every time I’ve offered some to Connor, he says, “No, I don’t like those.”

“But you’ve never had one,” I tell him.

“Well I could have one, but I won’t like it, so I don’t want one.” 

Alrighty then.

Somehow, it never occurred to me to throw them in the air to eat them.

And just like that, we added a new food to Connor’s very limited menu.  Food has been a challenge since the very beginning, since we began the transition to solids from baby food.  We’ve never been able to figure out if it was a texture issue, or what, exactly.  We just know that expanding his menu has been a pain-staking process, and the hard-ass approach doesn’t work.

As parents, we have been creative in ways I never imagined.  But I just can’t believe that it never occurred to me to throw grapes in the air. 

So now I’m wondering, what kind of fun thing can I do with salad to entice him?