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Elmo Failed Our Family

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Having a child in school makes me realize that I’m a total dumbass.  I’ve been humbled, and no longer consider myself reasonably intelligent.

How, exactly, do you explain the concept of “before” to someone without using the word in the explanation?  For example, in explaining what number comes before 7, I tell him “it’s what comes in front of 7.  He doesn’t get it. So I say,  it’s what comes at the beginning.  He says 1. So I say, “no, it’s the number BEFORE the 7.”  I’m concerned he won’t make it to first grade.

After dinner he was having some chocolate pudding, and he asks me, “do you want a piece of pudding?”  Sweet, but it doesn’t give the impression of superior intelligence.  So then I try to explain why pudding isn’t in pieces, but other things are.  I also failed miserably at that explanation.

All the hours of children’s programming has not taught me anything.  I’m going to start

Elmo stinks at teaching parents.

 sending hate mail to that little shit, Elmo.

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About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

2 responses »

  1. LMAO! Oh my god I can so relate to this. I usually just say “ask your father.” It is well established in our house that Daddy is Smart and Mama is Less Smart.

    Reply
  2. This is so true! I wish I had written down the different words they’ve asked about over the years. Now as the words get bigger, and I can’t explain them without using that word, I just say, “go get the dictionary”. They never do. HA HA

    Reply

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