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Just a Little Privacy, Please?

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My most heartfelt thanks to those that commented on my last post (even my sister, who will be getting a signed, limited edition “piece of art” for Xmas).  I’m so appreciative for all the kindness, support, and encouragement.  And of course, those autism rating scales don’t mean much when you’re the one living it every day. 

For those that want me to keep this slipshod operation going, here’s a new little nugget from this morning:

6:32 a.m.  me, shampooing hair in the shower, when shower curtain is abruptly ripped open

Me:  “Gahhhhhhhh!!”

there stands the hobgoblin, smiling

Connor:  “Mommy, I stayed in my bed ALL night, so do I get to use my new toothbrush?”

the incentive, a battery-powered Lightning McQueen toothbrush

Me:  “Um, I’m sort of busy right now, in the SHOWER.  We’re going to need to have another talk about privacy.”

Connor:  “Okay.  Can I have a cereal bar?”

Me:  “OUT!!”

30 seconds later, turning off shower, I hear Bzzzzzz zzzzzzz bzzzzzzz zzzzzzz

Connor:  “Gy-ga Mogmee.”

Me:  (trying to wrap towel around myself) “So I see you’ve decided to brush your teeth before breakfast?”

Connor:  (turning off toothbrush) “Yeah.  Mommy, you have a big chest” (reaches out and pokes right boob).

Me:  “Privacy.  PRIVACY.  Can I have some of that?  Ever?  I mean, seriously, please go away until I’m finished.”

Connor:  “Hahahaha, okay!  Oh, Mommy?

Me:  “What?”

Connor:  “For my birthday, I want you to bring cupcakes to school to my class.  Chocolate cupcakes, with green frosting.  ALL of them, green frosting.”

Me:  “Your birthday is a month away.  PRIVACY!!!!!!!”

Connor:  laughs hysterically as he dances off to the living room




About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

15 responses »

  1. Oh, sweetie – we ALL want that sometimes! I can’t remember the last time I was able to take a shower or go to the bathroom all by myself. Evidently the boy thinks the bathroom zombie is going to snatch me away. Cripes – even our senior dog (rest in peace, baby girl) attacked my feet if I even glanced at the shower. Do they know something we don’t? *insert Twilight Zone music here*

  2. If I put a dvd on for BB and surround him with enough snacks to feed an army I might *just* have enough time to wash my hair. But not dry it.

  3. I’m pretty sure I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone in 11 years. Not sure when this privacy thing comes back, but let me know if you get it worked out!

  4. three words: Lock. The. Door. its the ONLY way. if you don’t have a lock–get one.

    • @Dawn If only it was so easy! Hubby leaves before me in the morning, so I need to be accessible to the kid. Besides, he would have a total freak-out meltdown if he found the door locked, complete with screaming, crying and door-banging!

  5. This reminds me of the old Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where Calvin puts up a sign outside his house, “Pay 25 cents to see the naked, angry mom!” After he collects a quarter from every kid in the neighborhood, he brings them all up to the bathroom where his mom is taking a shower, and rips open the shower curtain.

    Better make sure Connor never sees that cartoon. 🙂

  6. This was so funny! When it comes to privacy, the hubby and I are still doing pretty good. But when we went to visit my brother-in-law….yeah, his two kids and the dog barged in and jumped on our bed. It was a disaster!

  7. There is no privacy in motherhood. None. The SWAT team breaking into my place would make less noise than my son pounding on the locked door.

  8. I’ll never get privacy. My son still insists I not leave him alone in any room so whether I am showering, using the restroom, dressing or what have you he’s lurking somewhere giving me half the privacy I want. Sigh.

  9. I gave up on privacy and when we remodeled our master shower. We added 2 shower heads plus body sprays that act as mini-showers for the kids. Now I shower with 3 kids every night. As a bonus they pee on my feet. Yeah, jealous, yet?

    I’m glad you’re still posting 🙂

  10. I never expected that you’d quit posting. Perhaps I will increase my chances to get Flat Flannery’s newest photos on my adding my 2 cents here. At least it was just in the shower – you could have been sitting… so the shower is actually not so bad.

    Green frosting on cupcakes is a fabulous idea. He’s just planning ahead – sheesh!! I’m with everybody else – there is no such thing as privacy!! 😉

  11. It’ll get better. Or maybe the sight of me naked burns my son’s retinas – he gives me privacy, I give him his. He even shuts the bathroom door to apply deodorant. I think the modesty started when he was 9 – before that, he was always shirtless, and often just in his undies.

    Don’t give up.

  12. Privacy? That term lost all meaning for me long ago. Um, was his, um, boob, er, um, size, um, assessment, er, oh nevermind. I’m assuming he was accurate.


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