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Flat Flannery Friday #7, Back to Basics

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Sometimes a girl just needs to get away, get back to nature, and get her head together.

After last week’s debacle, that’s just what Flannery did.  Our friend, Rachel, from Journeys With Autism, opened her home to Flannery for some badly needed reflection and recuperation.

Following is Rachel’s account of the visit:

Well, Flat Flannery came to our lovely little rural town of Brattleboro, VT this week, and she was the best house guest ever! She saw my husband stacking wood out in the back, and pitched right in to help! It was a miracle, really, given that she was lifting wood several hundred times her weight, so suffice it to say that I was in awe.

After that, she spent some time gamboling (yes, gamboling) in our flower garden among the budding tulips, and then we went for a very lovely hike through the woods. Flat Flannery was extremely considerate of my sensory sensitivities, and didn’t feel the need to yack at me constantly as we were walking, but entertained herself by building an amazing fort out of fallen branches and leaves, and then hiding from me there. I nearly had a panic attack when I saw she was gone, but I figured that I had other copies of Flat Flannery at home, and that I could always replace her. (I kid! I kid!)

Once I found her, we continued on, and that’s when things turned a little weird and macabre. First, Flat Flannery insisted that I take a photo of her with a former mental hospital in the background. I have no idea why she’d find a former mental hospital such a fun thing to pose in front of; perhaps it was the 1830s architecture? I decided not to probe too deeply into her motivations.

Then, we arrived at an old Brattleboro cemetery, and Flat Flannery just had to get a photo of herself standing next to a tombstone of a guy who had died in 1850. Again, I have no idea what was going through Flat Flannery’s mind on this one, and I do my best not to judge, but I have to admit that I was a bit taken aback when she asked me whether I’d known the guy under the tombstone. When I told her that no, of course I didn’t, I’m only 52, she replied that she was sorry, and that she’d sincerely thought I looked a lot older.

Given that she lives her life in two dimensions, I easily forgave her lack of perspective (heh), and it didn’t get in the way of our good time. When we got back to my house, Flat Flannery was delighted to partake in a recreation of the traditional Passover meal, and especially loved the egg matzah.  I know that she was just being polite, but I thought it was a very nice gesture nonetheless, and more than made up for that crack about my looking like I’m at least 161.

Thank you for spending time in the rurals, Flat Flannery. Hope you had a relaxing and restorative time!

Flanny sure enjoyed being spoiled by Rachel, rather than being hounded by shady hucksters trying to sully her good name.

In fact, she enjoyed it so much, she many never leave…


About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

6 responses »

  1. This “gamboling”. . .is that like “gambling”? ‘Cause that’s all she was interested in doing when she visited me.

    I totally understand Flanny’s need to escape though, given all she’s been through in the past several weeks. I love Vermont. Next time I get there, I’m totally finding that mental hospital. It looks almost as fun as the Ben & Jerry’s factory.

  2. Well, I, for one, am glad to see that Flat Flannery has taken her slutty ways to heart and that she chose Vermont with Rachel to rehabilitate herself! She needed that hard work, wood chopping and hiking in fresh air to get her mind out of the gutter.

    However, I must point out several things that make me suspect FF is not through with her old ways… I think there’s a flask in back of that wood pile,,, yes! She must’ve stashed it there before ringing Rachel’s doorbell! “Hiding” from Rachel in the fort? Flask! Posing in front of the mental hospital and insulting Rachel?! Drunk!

    Clearly, in the vein of Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, and countless other celebs with “issues” — one refreshing stay in Vermont will not be enough to get her rehabilitated! I have a feeling she’ll be making news again in no time!

    Hmmph! Shady huckster, eh? 😉

  3. Di d you check her closely while going to the mental hospital? I’d wager twenty bucks she dropped off her illegitimate babe at the door. See that white van—that’s the baby collector.

  4. Damn. People are getting seriously creative with this.

    Must try harder…

  5. Well, the former mental hospital is now an “addiction treatment and mental health” center (doesn’t that sound ever so much better than mental hospital?), but that’s a mere coincidence. It had nothing WHATSOEVER to do with Flanny’s sojourn here. Let me be perfectly clear:

    – Flanny DID NOT need to dry out from drugs and alcohol to protect the health of her unborn child. The child was perfectly healthy when she dropped it off at the van.

    – Flanny DID NOT need to attend AA meetings while she was here. I just put a mattress and a black and white TV in the basement, and she dried out down there just fine (except for the screaming).

    – Flanny DID NOT gamble while she was here. I held onto her money for safekeeping.

    Trust me. I’m an Aspie, and Aspies don’t lie (although sometimes, we make stuff up, just for fun :-)).


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