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Apparently I Need Social Skills Training

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On Saturday we had our usual trip to the Holy Mecca (Target Superstore).  Since Connor was with me, we made our required jaunt to the toy aisle.  A boy and his mom came down the aisle, and the boy said “hi Connor.”

“Oh, you guys know each other.  Were you in the same class”, I asked.

Connor:  “No.”

Me:  “Does he go to your summer camp?”

Connor:  “No.”

Me:  “Are you in a street gang together?”

Connor:  “No.”

Finally the boy told me they both went to the Y after school program, at Mediocre Primary School (not actual name of school).

The boys put on Ironman masks, grabbed shields and swords, and started playing.  They were having a blast, and were playing so nicely together.  I was impressed.

I turned to the boy’s mom, and said “they’re playing so well together.  I’m surprised, because Connor has ADHD, but they are really getting along.”

She said her boy had ADHD too, and he usually plays well with younger kids.  I asked what grade he’s in, and she said he’ll be going into 3rd grade, which will be at the school next door to the primary school.

“Oh, what a shame, they won’t be seeing each other at the after school program this next year.”  This is my special secret code for “let’s be friends so our kids can play together.”

She said, “oh, I guess not.”

It was like a date, where the guy leans in for a kiss, but gets left hanging in mid-air.  Geez, it was just going to be a peck.  I wasn’t going to slip you the tongue or anything.

But then my wing-man tried to help me score by saying, “Mom, can I go to his house and play?”

The other boy said, “you can’t today, because our house is too messy.”  Cute, right?

So I started laughing and said, “well then I guess Connor would feel right at home there!”  Hahahaha, get it?  My house is messy too.  I extended the sisterly olive branch by revealing that I, too, am a frazzled mom with a messy house. We are simpatico, you and I.

She still didn’t bite.

So I step it up a notch and say, “they are really having fun playing together, we should get them together for a play date sometime.”  Come on lady, don’t leave me hanging out here like some stalker douche-mom.

“Oh yeah, we should.  We better get our shopping done and let you get yours done.  Come on Boy, let’s get going.”


The boys continued talking and having mad love for each other out into the aisle, and even as we walked away.

Me, I was totally rejected.  I mean, I showered that morning, and my shirt didn’t have any stains or anything.  I felt like a dirty mom whore.

You shut up, Sean Connery, you don't know me!!!!


I gave a secret little glance back as we parted ways.  I thought about trotting over to ask for her number, but I was too afraid she would decline.

When I told the hubs about my miserable attempt and making a new mommy friend, he gave some great guy advice.  He said, “you should have just offered your number, so you wouldn’t have to feel like you were a freak for asking for hers.”

Right, but I didn’t think of that, because I’m not very smart.  And I prefer that people just pick up the hints that I throw down.  And because I want to be a big baller, and big ballers get numbers handed to THEM.

So here I am, feeling like a big loser because I can’t make a mom friend.  And also feeling like other moms are snooty bitches.

It’s probably more of the second thing, right?



About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

15 responses »

  1. wow–it’s like a mirror into my world–except i really don’t talk to people and am socially inept. THat and people suck.

    Sean knows all.

    You could TOTALLY come over here and drink margaritas while our sons destroyed the house.

  2. I am a self-admitted Mom stalker. I would’ve given you my number and pulled out my pocket calendar to set it up! However, on the flip side, since my son has Autism, if it would’ve been a Mom of a typical kid asking me for a playdate; I would’ve turned tail and ran.

    I don’t understand myself.

    Love your blog:)

  3. It was the second part – snooty bitch! JK – who knows what goes on in other people’s houses? Dawn beat me to it but you and Connor can totally come over for a playdate with Tootles and me! I don’t stock my bar like Lizbeth… but the house is messy and California’s not that far for a playdate. Right? Don’t leave me hangin’ here you big baller! 😉

  4. I don’t blame you for not giving her your number. She rejected all of your other hints that even I, Aspie that I am, would have picked up on immediately. And being a very kind and sensitive person, I would not have left you hanging and feeling uncomfortable. I would have said, “Sure, let’s talk.” No promises as to the outcome — just a polite commitment to explore the possibilities. That seems like the considerate, adult response, but then again, I’m from a generation that was all about this outdated thing called manners.

    The other woman sounds snooty. Or maybe she’s just used to playdates not working out because of her kid’s ADHD? Or doesn’t want two kids with ADHD in the same house because, God forbid, they might have fun? Anyway, whatever it is, it’s not your problem, though it was a great missed opportunity.

  5. Yep, definitely a snooty bitch. Mommies can seriously be really, really mean sometimes. So sorry. 😦

    I want in on the margarita/letting kids destroy a house playdate.

  6. First time to come across your blog (I’m kind of a blog stalker- one of these days you mommy bloggers are going to find me and either accept it or toss me out of the internet world lol) – but I’m glad I just read this- I felt this way just the other day – we ran into a kiddo my son (also Connor!) went to school with last year- and had one playdate with- this mom also didn’t bite to my “we should get them together again” hints. It may be b/c my son has some social struggles and at the end of the one playdate he had with this family, he freaked out b/c he didn’t want to leave and cried and got angry and pretty much said that he didn’t have a good time out of spite….yea, that wasn’t embarrassing at all! I even tried to hint that I remember how he was kinda weird at the playdate last year and how he has grown and matured so much this year. oh well, I guess that mom is not meant to be my new bff anyway right!?

  7. Sorry, but it’s nice to see a female go through this type of situation. Payback. You people are manipulative.

  8. No, no, come to my house! England isn’t far! My house is a tip! I have a sink full of vodka bottles! Some of them actually have some vodka still in them! I’m not snooty! Though I think sometimes I can come across as a a bit desperate…?

  9. GAH! I hate those awkward moments – which probably explains why I tend not to make friends and am a psychotic loner.

    Generally, those people would make your life miserable, so you’re better off.

  10. She’s the dirty mom whore. I bet there’s more to hide than a messy house if she didn’t pick up on your hints. They’re hoarders living on top of ho ho boxes and goat carasses.

    Or, did you go to the car, look in the rear view mirror and check for a bat in the cave? That happened to me, I mean a friend once, during a similar encounter. Got back to the car and I had a happy flapper in my left nostril. I died. Came back to life. Wiped my nose. And then died again.

  11. Oh man. I totally feel for you, except that I hate people and other people’s kids with the passion normally reserved for chocolate and red wine. HOWEVER, even I, in my anti-social angst, would have made an exception for a fellow ADHD kiddo who actually played well with my son. That dirty mom whore was a bitch! You can do so much better.

    BTW – Virginia isn’t too far for a play date, is it? 🙂

  12. Maybe she was just like me and more socially awkward than you could ever hope to be and doesn’t have any furniture in her house. Like me.

  13. Aww..don’t take it personally. If she’s like me it takes months to prepare for that “first time visit” so I avoid it. By the time I’m on room 2, room 1 is back in demolition mode and who wants to explain why there are socks in the kitchen.

    Better is meeting at a park where no one has to clean. Try that one next time. 😉

  14. ACK!
    I know just what you mean.

    I did a post last week on this.


    Yup. Story of my life.

    What IS IT about us OR its it not us? ANd them. I’m telling myself they have enough friends and don’t want anymore.

    Not taking it personally.

    But, still, there IS that nagging possibility..


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