Welcome to Hater Humpday, a weekly theme created by Dawn at This Side of Typical. And now a week’s worth of pent-up angst and venom shall come spewing forth, like a Gallagher show.
1. I hate that my son’s older friend told him all about Justin Bieber
when they were in the car together on the way to Dallas. He tells me how Justin Bieber is the best singer IN THE WHOLE WORLD, and Justin Bieber loves to sing and he’s really, really, REALLY good. He doesn’t even know who Bieber is, because he saw a long-haired rocker dude the other day, and said “hey, he looks like Justin Bieber”, even though he is clearly the anti-Bieber. Every time he starts his Bieber tribute I start doing the nervous junkie neck-scratch. I’m convinced that every time he mentions Bieber, Bono sprouts another gray goatee hair.
2. I hate myself for teaching my kid the “Guess what? Chicken butt!!!!” joke. One can only imagine what I must have been thinking the day I thought that was a good idea. On the way to summer camp this morning, ten times. Last night after dinner, fifteen times. He doesn’t get that you’re supposed to surprise someone when you do it.
3. People with special orders. Out of courtesy to the rest of us that are in a hurry and, thus, eating crappy fast food, can’t you just pick the goddamn pickle off the Big Mac yourself??
4. I hate that Joe Q. Workerbee has to shoulder the burden for a company’s success or failure, like when the supervisor boss-man has a meeting to tell people that they need to increase their production, take fewer breaks, increase their numbers. This happened to my friend this week, and it’s infuriating. Numbers can be down because of the economy, trade issues with China, war, or some political issue in some corner of the world that we have nothing to do with. Why should the downtrodden, who are trying to scrape by in their meager existence, be made to feel bad because they spent 3 minutes talking to a co-worker about the last episode of The Voice??? Suck it, middle manager pariah, suck IT.
5. Hackers that send viruses to your computer that causes your email account to send an email to everyone in your contact list with a link to some crazy, bullshit website. If you got an email from me, and it has a link to some site, it’s not from me. Sorry about that.
Have a great, Bieber-free, rest of the week.