This was a successful Halloween. Connor did not run ahead, he stayed with us, and he didn’t try to walk into people’s houses when they opened their doors.
Last year, at every house, I had to grit my teeth and call out “stay on the porch, we don’t go in the house!” When really, I was thinking Don’t go in that house!! They might be crack heads!!!!!
But this year was different. This was OUR YEAR. It all felt so normal, so calm, so…pleasant.
Connor chose to be Darth Vader this year, because he has seen ALL the Star Wars movies, and would rather be the dark, sinister bad guy, then the shining, virtuous Jedi. Whatever. It’s not foreshadowing…
He saw light-up light sabers at Target, and wanted the green one. “But Darth Vader has a red light saber”, I explained.
“No, green is my favorite color, and I want to be Darth Vader with a GREEN light saber.”
Fine. Who cares, right? It’s all supposed to be fun and imaginative anyway, right? RIGHT??? There should be no undue pressure on costume design. It’s not a Hollywood production, after all.
So I surprised him with the green light saber last night, which had the dual purpose of accessorizing his costume and providing a glow-in-the-dark beacon to avoid the potential loss of the boy on a dark street. BONUS!!
Somewhere in the midst of our Halloween bliss, we became aware that other kids were making a concerted effort to bust our happy little bubble. We would pass groups of kids, Connor would wave his magical new toy, and some kid would say “Darth Vader is supposed to have a red light saber.”
Finally, after the tenth such comment, hubs growled “We know that, but he’s only 6, and it doesn’t matter to him, so it shouldn’t matter to YOU.”
Seriously, little jackass kids? You are so emboldened by your own sense of greatness and superiority that you must take the first grader down a peg?? I mean, you’re wearing a fucking cardboard box, made to look like a robot. If you want to split hairs, then may I point out that robots are not really made of cardboard? They’re made of metal, dumbass. Geesh!
And kudos to hubs. Usually I’m the one that boldly steps forward as the snarky bitch of the family, but it looks like I may have to hand the crown over this year.
I can just hear it now…“Queen’s don’t have mustaches!!”
Au contraire, mon frere. Apparently you’ve never been to West Hollywood for Halloween.