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My mother is moving in with us.

Seeing it in writing like that actually made me catch my breath, and I can feel the flutters of panic in the pit of my stomach.

I love my mom.  Really.  And I’m so happy that Connor will get to know her and spend time with her.  He hasn’t seen her since he was a baby, because she lives so far away.  It’s just that it’s a big change.  For everyone.  The entire household dynamic will be altered with the addition of another person.

Oh, and another dog.  Yeah.  There will be, count ’em, 5 people and 4 dogs in my house.  Is my fear and trepidation beginning to take shape now?  Oh, and in addition, she will be here in less than 2 weeks!

So.  The only uninhabited bedroom was, in fact, Connor’s small toy room.  So small that there was no way my mom and her stuff would fit comfortably in there.  The only reasonable solution was to merge Connor with his toys, together in the toy room, and prepare his old room for grandma.

“But I like my room, I don’t want to move.”

“All my stuffed animals like that room and they don’t want to go to the toy room.”

“What about my pictures?  And my books?  And my clothes?”

It took some time to assure him that all his things would move with him to the other bedroom.  Except the carpet and walls.  I clarified this for him because he was unclear as to what was considered moveable and not moveable.

Finally, after more negotiation, I had a total and complete nervous breakdown an honest conversation with him about the situation, and asked for his help in solving the problem.  Of course, he came to the same inevitable conclusion about moving his room.

It killed me to have to ask him to do it.  Like I don’t already have enough parental guilt, right?

Anyway, when we commenced to moving his furniture, hubs flipped up his bed and this is what he found:

It's like a cozy little nest under there.

Socks, toys, a comb, candy wrappers….it was a veritable wonderland of trash and crap.  No wonder he didn’t want to move, he knew his hiding place would be ferreted out.

With much pushing and cramming and organizing, we have managed to fit all of Connor’s things into the former toy room.  Barely.  There wasn’t much room to spare, so let’s hope he doesn’t have an abrupt personality change and decide he actually wants to play in his room.

Not even enough room to fart in there.

So far, the change hasn’t caused too much stress.  Except to me, but I digress.  Connor has slept in the new/old room each night, at least until about 2am, when he wanders in and plops himself down in the homeless camp in our room.

But….he has had a spike in wetting accidents this week, which tells me there is probably some underlying anxiety at work here.  And my mom isn’t even here yet.  I’m crossing my fingers that this is the worst of the damage.

Because, damn it, we’re all out of rooms.



About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

11 responses »

  1. Well, you have got a lot going on — and a lot of adjustment. I pray that this will be a smooth transition for you — or as smooth as it can be, given the circumstances. But I sympathize that it is going to be tough no matter how you swing it. Hang in there.

    And, I have to tell you that I love the picture from under Connor’s bed! We just moved Little Miss’s bed into our room (no one could handle the night terrors anymore) and found much the same – tissues, tags, wadded-up stickers, bracelets, you name it. It was… enlightening.

    Sending hugs and strength!

    • We are hangin’! I remember the days of night terrors, and they were awful. You hang in there too, and I hope you all get some well-deserved rest.

  2. the accidents thing was probably at least sort of expected right? And honestly. . . the room looks like a pretty decent size! Go you. And awesome of you guys for taking in your mom.

  3. I bet he was looking for that comb too. Hold on to your wits gurl, I have a feeling the shit’s going to hit the fan with Connor about a week after your mom gets moved in. I hate to say it but with my mom here it took a fair amount of time for all of us to adapt. But it will get better. The fact he’s showing some signs of stress is good–he’s not holding it all in (I’m not trying to joke here) as opposed to acting out later. Alex did that…..

    And you’re prepping him now and getting him ready–all good. It will work out. Trust me on this.

    Just wait till she finds your blog….

    • I totally know what you’re saying. Last night he had a breakdown because he didn’t want to sleep alone. So, it is starting. This morning he did not want to take a blueberry muffin (his fave) for snack because “it has too much sugar.”

      WHAT. THE. FUCK????

      Clearly, he is in crisis.

  4. That sounds like a lot for anyone to take in. I know there have been a lot of life changes in the last few weeks and I’m hoping you can get through them as easily as possible. And it will be nice for Connor to form a relationship with your mom – my mother and Norrin have a really good relationship and it’s really sweet to see. And it could be some help to you too.

    Sending you virtual ((HUGS)) and positive vibes 🙂

  5. Wait, 5 of you? You Connor, Hubs, Mom, who am missing there? Yeah, you’re gonna have a lot of adjusting to do -not just Connor, you. Don’t forget about you in all of this. It is hard to be the one that everyone leans on, to be a pillar of strength but sometimes we just have to be and we don’t give ourselves a break. Even if you just step outside for a minute to take a deep breath and watch the sunset (with a shot glass or a flask if needed).

    You are a smart woman & it will be tough but you will make it through this and pretty soon the new routine will be just “the routine”. To me, the new room looks awesome! Who are you kidding? There is plenty of room to fart in there! And a little homeless campout can fill you with new perspective and lots of blog material! 🙂

  6. Wow. Yeah, a lot of changes!! Connor sounds like he’s being a really trooper though. I hope the transition is as smooth and as easy as possible for him (and you!!)

    And Lizbeth really made me laugh with “just wait till she finds your blog”!!

    Good luck and I think you’re amazing for how well you’ve handled organizing and dealing with everything that’s been going on… “Homeless camp” in the bedroom, can I **lol** and **awww** at the same time?

    **big hugs**

  7. I can one up you. Found a dead mouse under my kid’s bed.

  8. Hey lady I tagged you. I AM SORRY.

    Naaaaa, no I’m not…..


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