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Angry Birds, Level Two

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Several of you asked what happened yesterday, after the mighty bird siege that happened over the weekend.

Dear Angry Birds:

Yesterday morning when I left for the day, with my son and the dog, I was very disappointed to see your baby bird, once again, roosting in the middle of my driveway.  I’m sure you couldn’t help but notice that we were, once again, armed with tennis rackets.  My son, being adventurous, was happy to oblige by “covering me” while I got the dog into the car.

When I arrived home after work, I was pleased to see that, sometime during the day, you sought out more appropriate accommodations for your offspring.  I did not see your baby bird in the driveway, bushes, nor on the front porch.  We really appreciate that since my husband had to carry in a 65-pound sedated dog.

Last night, after our other dog’s final trip to the “privy”, we were surprised to see her at the back door, dancing wildly and wriggling like a belly dancer on meth.  We opened the door, and there was your dead baby bird at her feet.

So…yes.  Yes, a dingo DID eat your baby.  Looks like you chose badly.

Game over.  Better luck next spring, bitches.

Warmest regards and a big FUCK YOU,

Flannery

No, there are no dead baby bird pictures.  You’re welcome.  Although hubs did ask me, when he scooped it into the Target bag, if I wanted a picture for my blog.  I acted like the idea was beneath me.  It wasn’t.  I secretly wished I had taken a picture.

Happy Springtime!

*

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About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

12 responses »

  1. My Asperger's Teen

    LMAO. That is all.

    Reply
  2. Haha!! I KNEW the dingo was the answer to this problem!! (I’m not trying to say I told you so, I’m just really proud of the dingo.)

    And I’m quite amused at the idea of Connor “covering you” with a tennis racket. That’s a good boy, having his mama’s back like that.

    Reply
    • I know, we were torn between pride and horror. I mean, no one LIKES to see a dead baby bird. But no one likes to be attacked by manic birds either.

      And yep, Connor took his job very seriously. Even stood there shouting “we don’t want your baby bird, we just want to get in the car!”

      Reply
  3. I’m so glad the bird saga is over for you — at least for this year. I’ll let you know when ours hatches. ~:(

    Reply
  4. Two things—there were TWO baby birds yesterday so those damn birds still have one little offspring left, right??? Maybe the dingo can go for another round tonight during her privy time and seal the deal???

    And just for you I sent you a picture of a dead bird I found when I was out on a run this AM. Just for you. I about tripped over it laughing so hard thinking of how your husband damn near killed himself (yes, I know it was a scratch or scuff but in man-language he damn near died) the other day.

    You are welcome.

    Reply
    • SHUT UP! I don’t know where the 2nd one is, so I hope it doesn’t end up on my back porch.’

      I always appreciate your pictures of dead birds. That doesn’t sound right…

      Reply
  5. ACK! I have closure…but, AT WHAT COST!?! Yeah, that’s what dogs’ll do, and most people only suspect the cat!

    Reply
    • Our crazy dog thinks that anything that moves in our yard is a threat. I’ve already rescued one other baby bird from her, but I didn’t know this one was back there, so yeah, bye bye birdie!

      Reply
  6. Poor birdie. What can I say? I’m a softie.

    Reply
  7. Pingback: Killing in the Name of Love « Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles

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