One thing I know for certain from reading blogs, Facebook comments, and Twitter tweets is that moms, especially moms of kiddos with special needs, don’t get much time to themselves.
Can I get a witness??
The smart and sassy Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, from Autism Wonderland, wrote an awesome guest post about her quest for some quality alone time. I think we can all relate to the need to eek out a few moments in the day to get our thoughts straight.
Don’t forget to leave her some comment love, and visit her site, where she writes about her beautiful son, Norrin. She’s a very active autism advocate, especially within the Latina/Latino community (I hope I phrased that right).
30 Minutes of Solitude
I knew when I became a mom that I would never be alone. And as much as I love my husband and child. I miss having moments of solitude.
My alone time consists of my subway commute to and from work. But I guess that doesn’t really count. I may be alone, but I’m in a crowd. And it usually smells.
There are days when I go into the ladies room and go into a stall and just sit. And its quiet and no one can find me or bother me.
Unless a coworker follows me in the ladies room and decides stall to stall conversation is okay.
It’s never okay.
But I need something more than a few fleeting moments of ladies room sanctuary.
That’s why I’ve been waking up at the crack ass of dawn, lacing up my running and heading out to run in circles. (There is a circular walkway in front of my building. Seven times around equals a mile – or so I’ve been told.)
Well…I’m not really running. I’m walking at a very brisk pace. I’ll start running next week. It’s part of getting my sanity back.
It’s just me and the squirrels and maybe a few other people running. And people leaving to work. But they do not get in my way. I can think. Or not think. I can clear my head. Gather my thoughts. I can just be alone. And I think I deserve that time.
Someone else thought otherwise.
On my second morning as I was walking back into my building I saw my neighbor, in her cute pink short running shorts. A mom of 3 NT kids under the age of 7. She knows everything. And she’s quick to tell that “all kids do that”. She is her pre-baby weight. She likes to give me advice about my kid. Even though she has no experience with special needs children. I avoid her like the plague. But at 5:45 am there is no avoiding her.
“Oh are you running now?” She asks.
“Uh..yeah trying to.”
“What time are you out here?”
I know where she is going with this. She wants us to be run buddies. She has tried this before. Wanting us to be work out pals.
I tell her I am out at 5 am and say goodbye before she can say anything else.
I don’t want her interfering in my alone time. I don’t want to have a conversation before I’ve had my first cup of coffee. I don’t want to run in circles and feel as if I’m jumping through hoops trying to make polite conversation with a woman I have absolutely nothing in common with.
On my third day she came out earlier and I’m still running. I wave hello and pick up my pace. I think she wanted me to stop. I walk a few more laps around the circle and went into the building.
On the fourth morning I see her again around the same time. I am relieved to see she found a friend to keep her company. We said hello and I had no choice but to run behind her and her friend. (I could have passed them but that would mean I’d have to exhaust myself running.) And the two of them talked the whole time.
I may need to start heading out at 4 in the morning.
What would you do for 30 minutes of solitude?