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Trapped in a Dressing Room With the Tasmanian Devil

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The dog days of summer are slowly coming to an end, and the pale rider of school is approaching.  And with it comes the ritual of back-to-school shopping.

Up to this point, I’ve always gone out on my own and bought all of Connor’s clothes.  Once I get them home, he tries them on to see if they fit, and then I trudge back to the store to return or exchange the things that he didn’t like or didn’t fit well.  Sure, it’s a colossal pain in the ass, but not more so than trying to get a child with severe ADHD to wander through clothing stores and spend countless angst-ridden minutes in dressing rooms.

But this year, THIS year, I decided was the year of trying new things!

After all, he is 7 years-old now, and going into the second grade.  This shall be the year we attempt clothes shopping together!!  And although we have two months before it’s cool enough for long pants, I decided to take advantage of some of the sales and take Connor clothes shopping this past weekend.

We survived.  Barely.

I grabbed a couple pairs of jeans and told Connor, who was busy wandering through clothing racks, to come with me.

Connor:  “Where are we going?”

Me:  “To try on clothes.”

Connor:  “I’m too embarrassed to try on clothes around these people.”

Me:  “No, no.  They have dressing rooms where you try on the clothes.”

As we went into the dressing room area, Connor stopped to admire the large mirror.

“Ohhhhhh, three mirrors altogether!!!”

Inside the dressing room, I handed him the first pair of jeans.  He looked over and asked, “what’s that thing?”

Me:  “It’s a shelf.”

Connor:  “For what?”

Me:  “For stuff.  Like my purse.  It’s a shelf for my purse.”

Good god, it’s like the boy was raised by wolves.

BOING!!

Connor:  “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a seat, so you can sit when you try on pants.”

B O I N G!

Connor:  “Oh, I don’t need a seat to try on pants.”

B O I N G!!!

Me:  “I don’t care whether you NEED the seat or not, it’s still not a trampoline, so stop jumping off it!”

Connor:  “What could happen?”

Me:  “You could get hurt or I could lose my mind and start screaming like a lunatic!”

BOING!!

Connor:  “Oh, sorry, I was already about to jump when you said not to.”

Me:  “Just try on the damn pants!”

World’s worst trampoline.

Usually I always get the loose-fitting jeans, but this time I must have grabbed one pair of “slim fit”, because that’s what he tried on.  They were snug, but not too tight.  Still, I usually choose comfort over style since he’s such an active child.

Me:  “Those are a little snug, let’s try on the loose-fit jeans.”

Connor:  “I like these jeans, I want to buy them.”

Me:  “They’re not as loose as the others, can you bend over?”

He immediately started contorting in various yoga-type poses, thus proving his ability to move in the pants.

They fit fine, watch me jump around!

Connor:  “Pleeeeeease, I really want these pants.”

Me:  “Why do you like these pants so much?”

Connor:  “Because they’re really cool, and they have a belt, and everyone will think I look sooooo good in them.  And they’ll want to marry me.”

I had no idea that these slim-fitting pants held so much sway over girls.  None.  Or maybe it was the belt because, after all, this was our first foray into belt land.  Prior to this point, I could never have trusted Connor with a belt, knowing full well it would be removed and used as some sort of jump rope or weapon as soon as my car pulled out of the school parking lot.  I’m still not convinced that won’t happen, but we will at least give it a try.

Me:  “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable in these jeans?”

Connor:  “Oh YES!  Can I wear them home?”

Me:  “No, I have to pay for them and it’s way too hot.  Also, I don’t want you meeting any future marriage partners here in Kohl’s.”

Somehow we made it out of that dressing room alive, twenty minutes later.  That might not sound so bad, but that’s twenty minutes for TWO PAIRS OF PANTS!

Any further school clothes shopping will be done by me.  Solo.  Yeah, I know what I said, but I’m not going again with Connor this year.  Once was enough.  We’re baby-stepping our way to maturity…in slim-fit, belted, mating ritual marriage jeans, apparently.

How you like me now, with my new belt???

*

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About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

10 responses »

  1. Dear lord, I would NOT want to go clothes shopping with my Conor. He wears sweat pants since he’s not great with belts, buckles, things that tie, and whistles. Kudos to you for trying. I’m just thankful lands end still has khaki pants with elastic waists in boys’ size 14/16.

    Reply
    • Hi … This is kind of off topic, but thanks Alisa for the Lands End tip. I’m always struggling to find elastic waist khakis for my son.

      Flannery: I have yet to take my son clothes shopping. I think you did great! Thankfully my son is pretty standard and can fit into whatever size 6/7 things I buy. Plus, they wear uniforms at his school. I LOVE that. Next week we’re gonna tackle school supplies shopping. Yikes!!!

      Reply
      • Hi…. For info, I just took our son shopping for school clothes this morning and found elastic waist khakis at Walmart. They come in light and dark khaki, drk blue, black, camo, and denim! They’re made well and were only $8.92!! I bought one of each color! LOL!

        Reply
  2. confessionsfromhh6

    I leave my kids at home whenever possible – for any type of shopping. Ordering online and having them sit or stand next to my choosing stuff is annoying enough.

    Reply
  3. What is it about Connor and marriage?! Wasn’t there some discussion about marriage when he finished kindergarten? You and the hubs must set some example…

    He was literally bouncing off the walls, wasn’t he? It’s still cool that he is a little fashionista, busy working to impress the ladies! I’d love to get Toots able to successfully use the dressing room (as you saw today – that may take a while). He can still tell me which clothes he likes but he’s into PacMan t-shirts and I don’t think those are as much chick magnets as Connor’s awesome jeans. Let me know how many girls get the marriage proposal this year – I seem to remember a love triangle in the past…?

    Reply
  4. I am laughing out loud at my desk and my coworkers are wondering why! It sounds like taking Allie shoe shopping. I would rather have a root canal!

    Reply
  5. I applaud you. My almost-9-year old has ADHD and shopping with him is awful. Plus, he hates pants with snaps, buttons and zippers.

    Love Connor’s stylish jeans…He’ll be a hit with the ladies for sure, now. 🙂

    Reply
  6. “And they’ll want to marry me.” oh god! he’s a riot!

    Reply
  7. Upon seeing Connor in those jeans and snazzy belt, I was almost tempted to propose marriage. But considering our age differences, it’s most likely inappropriate. Better hope he doesn’t want to wear these on his first day of school – who knows what kind of 2nd grade hussies will follow him home?!

    I have yet to tackle clothes shopping with Norrin. It’s bad enough with shoes.

    You’re a good woman Flannery Sullivan. A good woman indeed!

    Reply
  8. Oh my goodness! Love the new jeans!

    And the dressing room adventures? We just need to put Connor and Little Miss together for a real disaster! He can bounce off the benches and she can show him a thing or two with stimming on the dressing room doors — because EVERYONE wants to try on new clothes while a small person is repeatedly opening and closing and opening and closing and opening and… well you get the picture.

    Off to catalog/internet shopping we go!

    Reply

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