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Sh*t My Kid Says

Sometimes my kid is really damn funny.  True, he’s also a pain in the butt, but the funny sort of makes up for it, so it all evens out.

If I told you he was like a frenetic combination of Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, you might not believe it.  But the crazy energy never stops, nor does the comedy.

   

Here is my most recent top 3 funny stories:

1.  The other night, at bedtime, we were reading an Ironman book.  At one point, it mentions “throwing a party”, and my literal thinker wanted to know what that meant.  So I explained how it doesn’t really mean to literally “throw” something, like a ball.

The next night, after dinner, he took his plate to the sink.  He places it in the sink and announces, “I just THREW my plate in the sink.  You know, like a party.”

.

2.  Last week, while reading at bedtime, Connor announces “I want to sleep without pajama pants tonight.”

“Uh, okay,” I respond.

He removes his pajama pants and asks, “Is it daddy’s night for back rub?”

“Yes,” I say.

“Will he give me a back rub with no pants on?”

Now I’m creeped out.  “No, daddy will have his pants on.”

“No” he says, “Will he rub my back if I don’t have pants on?”

“Uh, yes, he will still rub your back.  Goodnight, weirdo.”

“YOU’RE the weirdo!”

Yeah, we like to let the freak flag fly up in our crib.

.

3.  Have you seen the Geico commercial with Eddie Money singing “Two Tickets to Paradise” to a family sitting in a travel agent’s office?  No?  Well Connor has.  He has spent the last three days singing “Two Tickets to Paradise” on an almost continuous loop.  He even holds his hand up like he’s holding tickets in it.

Won’t you pack your bags, we’ll leave tonight?

I tried to sing along with him, but he insisted that I stop immediately because my singing “is annoying”.

Rude.

I hope everyone finds something funny in their lives this week!

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About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

6 responses »

  1. You know, mom, like a party! Yep. I have those sink dish parties all the time! Admit it. You did not want to be the only one with Two Tickets to Paradise stuck in your head. Mission accomplished – but I will get ya back when you are not suspecting it! 😉

    Reply
  2. I can’t stop smiling. The pantsless-sleeping is so something that would happen here. I am convinced that my kids would go around sans-pants 24/7 if I let them. They just get in the way, you know???

    Thanks for the chuckle this morning…

    Reply
  3. WERD on the Robin Williams. He is SO on the spectrum.

    xoxo

    Reply
  4. yourothermotherhere

    You’re right – he is funny!

    Reply
  5. I love the funny moments so very much. It helps take the edge off the chokey, screamy moments. : )

    Reply
  6. My house is like that but with two Robin Williams. My son and his dad are like two comedians who think they’re soooo funny! My son doesn’t understand a lot of phrases and the English lanquage is so dumb. Sometimes I even wonder how I understand anything and I grew up speaking it! Sometimes I just say wait until you grow up, or learn it in science class, or tell him to google something because I am not good on the explaining part.

    Reply

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