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Frustrated. No, not that kind of frustrated.

UGH! Frustrated. Just frustrated.

But I’m not supposed to say that, am I? I mean, expressing frustration about my child is verboten in autism land. Whatever, call Mayor McCheese to give me an attitude ticket then.

I suppose I should expect this. The beginning of the school year is always a challenge until we get the routine down. Still, after coming off the high of a fantastic summer, I foolishly thought we’d avoid the usual bumps in the road.

Every day we get the same report from the after-school program: playing around inappropriately in the bathroom, repeatedly jumping off the stage in the cafeteria, being mean or inappropriate when playing with others. And every year I talk about building up and rewarding the desired behavior; using a token or ticket system, praising desired behavior, etc.

Still. How many more years will we be working on not crawling under bathroom stalls, or standing completely in the urinal (side note: EWW!). It’s not that he doesn’t know the rules. He knows them very well and can recite them. He’s just so IMPULSIVE. And after school, meds have worn off. Cue intense bouts of tomfoolery and shenanigans.

The frustrating part in him knowing the rules and routines is that you begin to feel like he’s purposely just giving the rules the finger. Sometimes I’m downright positive he is doing that. And it’s really hard not to sympathize with the staff for being frustrated. By third grade, kids should not be crawling on the skeevy bathroom floor.

What’s that you say? Maybe the program is too much for him? Maybe we should make other arrangements? Easier said than done when you work 8-5 and have a mandatory 8 hours of OT every week. This process would be so much less stressful if I didn’t have to hold down a job, but I do. So I just better keep on balancing this high-wire act over here.

This post? Not entertaining AT ALL. Sorry about that. Here, look at this picture of cats. People seem to like cats.

courtesy of

courtesy of

I guess you see now why I don’t like cats.

It’s wine time, people. Have a happy, shiny, feel-good something something whatever.


About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

16 responses »

  1. I called Mayor McCheese. He says you’ve created a hate culture. What’s weird is that he’s actually totally cool with it.

  2. I get the feeling that you’re both a hobo and cat bigot.

  3. Alisha Youngblood Ortiz

    I was reading your post, and early on I thought “Hey! That was my kid up until middle school!” I completely sympathize with you. Much like the “It Gets Better” project, I assure you it does. My son is now a sophomore in college and has lived in the dorms for over a year (except for summer.) Of course, we have had some bumps in the road. He caught a microwave on fire. There was the famous “Thanksgiving leftover ham left in the unplugged fridge over Christmas break” incident. Several dorms keys had to be replaced. Oh, and when he moved back into the dorms last month, he forgot to park the car. He left it in the middle of the drop off lane. One of my students who lives in the same dorm sent me a picture of it letting me know that I might want to contact him to get it moved.

    But it really does get better.

    Oh, and I laughed so hard at the hobo-murdering cats that I may have peed a little.

    Thanks for that. 🙂

    • OMG, I think I love you. Seriously. I needed to hear that someday I’ll just be worried about rancid ham because, that would be like a dream. Rancid ham. Like a dream. And this is my life.

  4. wow…glad to NOT being the only one in this boat. we live in california by Yosemite…the Rim Fire. We were lucky enough to get 2…count them…2 first days of school because we were inundated with smoke. 3 days into school…the county closes the schools for a week…then we start all over.

  5. Wow I sooo get this. It’s only been very recently Ive begun to see that my sons behaviours are not deliberately defiant, although it looks a hell of a lot like that. Its actually about not understanding the value of the ‘rule’ or even that he understands that the rule last time is still the rule now. And his need to feel in control to mitigate anxiety around social confusion. And the impulse control stuff….sigh. Exhausting. I found reading up on executive function has given me lots more insight into my boy. But some days…yeah, frustration. xx

  6. Thanks for the cats, Flannery. I’m there with you about the whole impulsive/rules thing. Spent a good hour last night writing a letter to the school because someone thought it was a good idea to snub the principal and smack the school secretary. And I *don’t* hold down an 8-5. *sigh*

    I get you, my friend. I totally get you.

  7. My son is five, and if he doesn’t change by middle school…the cats can have me.
    By the way, totally in love the with dance picture. Jazz hands!

  8. My son started his senior year this year. I thought to myself, “Self?? You’ve navigated this school crap for 12 years. Surely *this* will be the easy year!!”

    Four weeks into the school year and I realized just how foolish I was to make such an assumption (and my kid is *still* playing around inappropriately in the bathroom, repeatedly jumping off the stage in the cafeteria, and being mean or inappropriate when playing with others.).


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