When is the “right” time to discuss sexuality, specifically homosexuality, with your child? Until today, I didn’t have an answer for that question. But today when I picked up Connor from school, he asked me if I knew about the Boy Scouts of America (BSA).
I explained to him that I was very familiar with them. And I decided to explain to him why we never pursued membership for him with their organization.
“What does ‘gay’ mean?”
So I told him that it’s when a man wants to date or marry another man, or a woman wants to date or marry another woman. And I told him that there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just the way they were born. Some of us are born to love someone from the opposite sex, but not everyone.
“It’s not terribly different from being born autistic, it’s just the way you are.” I told him.
And we talked about their rule that members must believe in God. He asked me, “Did their God tell them not to like gay people?” And, of course, I told him the truth.
While we worked on homework, he looked at me and said “I don’t like the rules those Boy Scouts have.” I asked if he wanted to write them a letter and, to my surprise, he said he did. Writing has always been hard for Connor, so I helped with spelling, punctuation, and paragraph spacing. I prompted him to tell them who he is and where he goes to school. But the rest of the words are his alone. And he felt very strongly about adding the sad faces.
There is simply no way to describe the kind of pride you feel as a parent when your child shows you that they care more about what’s right than what everyone else thinks. This parenting gig is HARD, no doubt about it. But days like this are what keep us going during the more challenging of times. I think this one will keep me going for a good, long while.