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Green Bloggers and Spam

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The thing about blogging is that it’s this awesome, creative outlet for absolutely anyone that wants to do it. And absolutely anyone can read your words, interpret them, MISinterpret them, and misappropriate them.

 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say. I don’t know who they are. Probably some asshole(s) that gets paid to write positive affirmations for magazines that are heavily photoshopped. What do they know?

 

Anyway, blogging… Sometimes you come across a really talented writer whose words seem to go straight through you, right to your heart. The writer at Lexistential.com is one of those writers. As such, there have been some in the blogosphere that have absconded with titles, sentences, and whole portions of what she’s written. Unscrupulous vagabond! But it got me thinking about how to borrow a style from someone without actually stealing. You know, take something you like and make it your own, while getting your message across.

 

I went with Dr. Seuss because, who doesn’t love Dr. Seuss? Goddamn it, you just can’t beat a good rhyme! So I give you my ode to unscrupulous bloggers and those in the (autism) community who do more harm than good.

 

Green Bloggers and Spam

 

Bloggers bloggers, small and green

Why you need to be so mean?

 

I can’t abide the theft of prose,

you smell worse than hobbit’s toes.

 

“Don’t kill your kids!” you squawk and shout,

Captain Obvious, you are a lout.

 

Parents crying, reaching out

You stomp and snort, deny and pout.

 

Families who in need of aid

You give them rhetoric that you’ve made.

 

“Call 9-1-1,” you loudly say,

Police will help you right away.

 

They arrive at your door,

And make a report, but nothing more.

 

But never fear!

There’s the blogosphere…

 

Pithy sayings, custom made.

All their readers gutted and filleted.

 

Your hollow words

and useless tools,

You play us all for insipid fools.

 

Because people know you offer naught

The emperor’s new clothes are what you’ve bought.

 

Now your ugly mouth

it foams with spittle.

 

Let me serenade you

with the world’s smallest fiddle.

 

I do not like

Green bloggers and spam.

 

I do not like them

Truth I am.

 

flanseuss

 

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About Flannery

Kid, husband, dogs, my mother, full-time job, maximum stress, minimal relaxation...sooner or later I had to vent. AND we moved from California to Texas. I could start a whole other blog about that.

4 responses »

  1. So impressed. So very very impressed.

    BTW I call those people “Tabloid bloggers.” Like Matt Walsh except without any readers.

    Reply
  2. I don’t know what sparked this little ditty but I like it 🙂

    Reply
  3. flannery - seriously

    You never cease to amaze me. So glad I stumbled onto this.

    Reply

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