Connor doesn’t go grocery shopping with me often. There’s a reason for that and it’s because I like my sanity.
But this weekend, I took him with me because hubs had to work. I psyched myself up and said “I can do this!”
When I parked the car, I asked him “what are the rules in the grocery store?”
He said, “stay with Mommy, don’t wander away, hold hands in the parking lot, don’t be loud, and don’t talk to strangers!”
We were as ready as we’d ever be, so off we went. He was super helpful in the produce aisle, bringing me things I asked for and putting them in the basket. It was going well. Maybe too well.
Next, we went to down the bakery aisle. He always stops and oohs and aahs over the cakes in the display case, pointing and saying “I want that one” or “ohhhh, that one looks good!” So I said, “hey, your birthday is coming up, let’s look through their cake book and pick out a birthday cake.”
We moved over to the book, and I started flipping through it. “They have Spiderman”, I said.
Connor was to my left, and said “no, I don’t want Spiderman.”
I kept flipping, and eventually came to a page with a Batman cake. “Oh hey, what do you think of this Batman cake?”
As I turned my head to my left to ask what he’d said, in that tiny, infinitesimal moment, my brain registered that something was amiss. And in slow motion, I saw Connor LICKING THE GLASS CASE OF THE BAKERY COUNTER.
Not just a harmless, discreet little lick, but a huge, sloppy O-shaped lick, in a big circle.
And I grabbed his hand and as quickly as I could, while pushing a cart and dragging an almost-7-year-old behind me, we fled to the meat department.
“I can’t believe you just did that. That is disgusting, what were you thinking?”
“I couldn’t help it, the cake looked sooooooo good!”
In all fairness, when discussing grocery store rules of conduct, I neglected to mention that it’s considered poor etiquette to lick the bakery display case. Betcha I won’t make that mistake again.
Also, I’ll be phoning in the order for his birthday cake.